First, think about one of the unhappiest events you have experienced. This opens the door to coping gratefully. Contrasting the present with negative times in the past can make us feel happier (or at least less unhappy) and enhance our overall sense of well-being. Our minds think in terms of counterfactuals-mental comparisons we make between the way things are and how things might have been different. This process of remembering how difficult life used to be and how far we have come sets up an explicit contrast that is fertile ground for gratefulness. Remember the bad things, then look to see where you are now. It works this way: Think of the worst times in your life, your sorrows, your losses, your sadness-and then remember that here you are, able to remember them, that you made it through the worst times of your life, you got through the trauma, you got through the trial, you endured the temptation, you survived the bad relationship, you’re making your way out of the dark. The contrast between suffering and redemption serves as the basis for one of my tips for practicing gratitude: remember the bad. There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals. Consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude builds up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. So crisis can make us more grateful-but research says gratitude also helps us cope with crisis. What if we didn't take good things for granted? Learn how gratitude can lead to a better life-and a better world-in this new GGSC book. If you begin to see that everything you have, everything you have counted on, may be taken away, it becomes much harder to take it for granted. In times of uncertainty, though, people realize how powerless they are to control their own destiny. Why? Well, when times are good, people take prosperity for granted and begin to believe that they are invulnerable. It became a national holiday in 1863 in the middle of the Civil War and was moved to its current date in the 1930s following the Depression. The first Thanksgiving took place after nearly half the pilgrims died from a rough winter and year. Our national holiday of gratitude, Thanksgiving, was born and grew out of hard times. Trials and suffering can actually refine and deepen gratefulness if we allow them to show us not to take things for granted.
Yes, this perspective is hard to achieve-but my research says it is worth the effort. When disaster strikes, gratitude provides a perspective from which we can view life in its entirety and not be overwhelmed by temporary circumstances. Feelings follow from the way we look at the world, thoughts we have about the way things are, the way things should be, and the distance between these two points.īut being grateful is a choice, a prevailing attitude that endures and is relatively immune to the gains and losses that flow in and out of our lives. We cannot easily will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy. We don’t have total control over our emotions. Relationship problems, financial problems, sickness, mental health issues, and any number of personal concerns can seep into behavior at work and with others.But it is vital to make a distinction between feeling grateful and being grateful. Misunderstandings, and the inability or lack of effort to communicate clearly, lead to difficult behavior, especially if someone feels slighted. And the tension can bring irritability and frustration with it. A tense issue that hasn’t been dealt with is the constant elephant in the room. Triggers can also cause childhood trauma to resurface. People who experienced verbal abuse or trauma may immediately lash out if they think that type of behavior is being directed toward them. That can be even more apparent when the two people disagree, and each wants their own way. People with strong personalities tend to butt heads. They may become anxious and hard to deal with, moody, short-tempered, or critical. Whether it’s from work or family obligations, stress can cause people to exhibit difficult behaviors.
0 kommentar(er)
